September 29, 2018
Culture Hole’s press release, in full, below:
Yeahhh boiiii!!! Culture Hole is gonna blow your stinkin’ skins off with some crazy new sport we totally bombasted from our brain jobs. It’s gonna be like some simulated Gold Coast foamfest sprung right out of your own backdoor, with like real water and stuff, so wear your boardies and bath-time suits!!! There’s gonna be a serious competition, maybe even with helmets, but you can just kick back and feast your look balls as Culture Hole’s wave lords shred imaginary gnar while dodging sea birds and shit.
Come zill with us while a couple of gnarly dudes totally cook a real pig, like for eating, and we’ll have some banana coffee smoothies for your mouth drought… We might even have hammocks or something, and some kinda pool rings to lay in. Definitely some chairs. Maybe you could bring stuff, like a beach ball or something. Maybe everyone could bring beach balls (BYOBB¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )…
We have a crap ton of real people coming to judge this simulacra’d surf thing and announcers and stuff too from all over the, land… Ummm, September 29th!!! Beach opens at four-o’clock, tourney starts at five-o’clock. It’s grom friendly…that means kids. Come get stoked and kooky and stuff with us! Yeeeew!!
Video projection by Kris Pierce; Sounds provided by DJ WiggleMan; Lifeguarding: Randy Guthmiller; Commentators: Heyd Fontenot and special guest, Judges: James Cope, Caroline Elbador, Kevin Rubén Jacobs, Jason Koen, Greg Meza, and Christina Rees; Competitors: Britlyn Baker, Jake Elliott, Oshay Green, Bret Gregory, Devin Lozano, Dennis McInerny, Rachel Mullett, Dustin Orlando, Presely Perkins, Evan Sheldon, Jordan Smith, Hank Swanson and Paul Winker; Noggin Tops by Zeke Williams; Special contributions by Handsome Skateboards, Nixon, Human Dior, Bleach, and Kooks Coffee
3816 Commerce Street
Dallas, 75226 TexasGet directions