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9 Reasons Why Texas Monthly’s “10 Texas Artists To Collect Now” is Rubbish

Last week Texas Monthly published an inoffensive little doodad titled “Ten Texas Artists to Collect Now.” We should know better than to let these kind of things drive us crazy, but sometimes we can’t help it. These lists are bunk. They’re baloney. They’re horseshit. Here’s why:

1. Because there are only two artists on this list worth mentioning.

2. Because even though someone is successful in their day job, it doesn’t necessarily follow that they’re good at making art. In fact, it almost never does, especially when they sound like the kind of people who drink bulletproof coffee and are considering microdosing as an efficiency-boosting regimen.

3. Because listicles that mention Miley Cyrus.

4. Because listicles that mention the Foo Fighters.

5. Because listicles that mention the Hotel Saint Cecilia, ground zero of The New Cruelty (a.k.a. apathetic service from insufferable hipsters surrounded by phony “eccentric” furniture; a.k.a. Which One Of You Boogie Nights Kids Do I Need To Bribe With A Dimebag To Get My Goddamned Breakfast On Time).

6. Because real artists study and work on this stuff their whole lives, and it’s insulting for them to be confused with Sunday painters.

7. Because art should not be judged from the perspective of what would look hip in your uptown townhouse. Some of the best art you wouldn’t want in your home.

8. Because if you want to go shopping for some decoration, just buy something from Restoration Hardware.

9. Because it forces us to be assholes about some of these nice people’s terrible art.

 

Restoration Hardware has one-of-a-kind wall things made from “weathered wood salvaged from actual boats”!

 

also by Glasstire
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9 Responses

  1. Karen

    Don’t get bent out of shape by this. Just realize that that someone on the Texas Monthly writing staff was given an assignment with a deadline.

  2. Opinions are so tricky. Respectfully, their list isn’t called “Top ten”. It’s just “Ten”. I disagree with shaming the people they highlighted just because you disagree with the article concept. But, I like that this article gives them more publicity 🙂

  3. Fan

    Top 2 reasons that Glasstire should have posted something in response to the dwindling Texas Monthly and top 1.5 reasons the should not have.

    1. All of those artists make work that have little bite, but if we were to guess the two that the tire likes: I bet the intentional? juvenile stlye of the SA artist is one; just because he may be collected by “powerful” Dems should not be some kind of barometer for what collectors should collect. The other artist…hmmm…the colorful eye candy blobs maybe? Doesn’t matter.

    2. Texas Monthly, like the Express News, the Austin Statemen, the Houston Chronicle etc…need to up their game when it comes to arts writers. Don’t even cover the visual arts if it’s purly a feel good story or who Miley Cyrus follows on Instagram. Step things up, who lets fall behind even further on the national stage when it comes to culture.

    Top reason Glasstire shouldn’t have wasted their time covering this:

    1/2. At least Texas Monthly is talking about collecting. Any potential revenue generated for art is nice to see. Just wish the did 5 minutes of research instead of the 3 mins and however long it took to get those substanceless images…

    1/2. Glasstire is being a hypocrite here. Don’t yall Dont yall do a top 5 every week? Your site, your opinion. Their paper, their shitty opinions

    Last half…who cares about any of it, this country has a virus, and it’s systemic. We are corrupt from bullshit local politicians, to our Governor to art dealers, banks, corporate collectors, the list goes on and on. Texas Monthly, like Glasstire should get creative and use their resources to connect art and politics. Make subversive art popular again, but try to maintain a standard (intellectually and visually for crying out loud)!

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