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Adult Coloring Books Cause Worldwide Pencil Shortage

screen480x480Admit it: you saw those adult coloring books and you fleetingly considered buying one. Maybe it wasn’t fleeting—maybe you went so far as to actually purchase that book of mandala designs that promised to relieve your stress. Maybe you bought the ironic one with sex positions and profanity woven into the intricate floral patterns. And with it, you bought a pack of colored pencils.

Well thanks to you, there’s now a global pencil shortage, according to the Independent. Pretty much any artist who makes drawings with color is going to be forced into early retirement (we’re sorry, Trenton Doyle Hancock) because it seems yoga and breathing exercises just aren’t enough to reduce the anxiety of contemporary existence.

We want to know how we can get people to quit coloring and start making bad, humorless conceptual art as a stress therapy: we’d quickly run out of little piles of sawdust and bits of trash and dirty laundry on the floor, and the world would be a tidier place filled with happier people.

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