I…don’t understand. Is this performance art? Now Updated Hourly!

 
image censored: The shirt-lifting image formerly occupying this space created a real broohaha. Stern’s taken it down, so must we for copyright issues. Carry on, readers. But for the record, the consensus was she looked great.
 
original story/images here.
 
Breaking: Robyn O’Neil gone wild!
From the Howard Stern website:
 
"ANOTHER BENJY FETISHIST TRIES HER LUCK
 

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Howard
welcomed Robyn {why would an "artist" ever rate a last name on Stern?}, a woman who claims to have a crush on both Benjy and
Artie, to the studio and was blown away by how pretty she was. Robyn
thanked Howard and told the crew she wasn’t a “chubby chaser” – she’s
just attracted to


the
boys’ personalities. Howard wondered if there was anything wrong with
Robyn, so she admitted there might just be. Howard insisted there was
some hidden catch, but Benjy said he was intrigued by both Robyn and
her art (he researched her online).


Robyn
said the very qualities that annoy Howard about Benjy, like his
evasiveness, are the ones she’s most attracted to, as she thinks it
shows that he’s thoughtful. Robyn added that she’d like to blow Artie
as well, since she frequently thinks of him when she masturbates. Artie
was surprised, saying this was the first time someone’s ever said that.
After Robyn showed the crew her “incredible” body, Benjy asked her out
and she accepted."
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A friend of mine has a friend who works for Stern. He sent the following, more thorough break-down of her visit, from a fan board. Here is your blow by blow (ba dum dum). I don’t know, it’s kind of more understandable, and human.
No wait, it’s still weird.
Well, whatever floats your canoe…or kills your owl, whatever…
 
White Robyn Wants To Date Benjy Or Artie. 01/31/08. 7:15am

After the break we heard some prank calls that Richard and Sal made to a
public access call in show using George Takei audio clips. Howard came
back after that. Fred was playing Pink Floyd’s ”Welcome to the
Machine” and Howard didn’t recognize it. He said he should know it. He
threw in Gary’s ”Mac-hine” clip while that song was playing.

Howard had this girl Robyn O’Neil come in who had contacted them
recently about being into Benjy and Artie. Howard gave her a ”wow”
when she came in. She wondered what she should be called, maybe White
Robyn, since there were two Robyn’s in the room. Howard told her that
she’s extremely pretty and he wondered if she’s got some kind of issue
with fat guys or something. She said that she likes people for their
personalities. He was wondering if she had some kind of mental illness
or something to be into these guys.

Robyn said that she’s not perfect but she doesn’t think that she’s
mentally ill. Howard asked Benjy if he was attracted to her. Benjy said
that she is beautiful and she’s got a great personality. He said that at
first glance he likes her. Howard said he finds it impossible for her to
be into Benjy. Artie asked her what web site she was going to plug. She
said she didn’t have one and she needs nothing from anyone there. She
said that she makes six figures already and she’s a self-made woman.

Artie said that she’s very pretty and she’s got a good body. She said
that she’s got a 34-C chest but Howard said he would have guessed that
they were a D. She said she’s no where near as big as Robyn. She said
that she just recently had a breast tumor removed so she’s kind of
embarrassed to have her boobs out. She said that she’s not sure she
could do that for them. Artie asked Robyn if she ever stops yapping
because she was a little chatty. She said she knows she is.

Howard asked her if she’s ever been with other women. She said that she
has been a couple of times but she’s more into guys than women. She said
that she’s seen Benjy naked before on Howard’s show and she still likes
him. Benjy said that she seems like she’d be fun and very interesting to
hang out with. He’s seen her art too and he’s intrigued by that as well.

Howard said that Robyn wanted to go out with either Benjy or Artie. She
never got a response from them when she’d write in about Artie, only
when she sent in a picture and said she was interested in Benjy did she
get any attention.

Robyn said that she loves some of the stuff about Benjy that Howard
hates so much. She said she likes that unusual way he has of answering
questions. She said that it means that he’s thoughtful when he thinks
about stuff the way he does.

Robyn said that she called in one time and said that she would have
blown Artie. She said that she was too chatty for them and Howard hung
up on her that time. Howard asked Artie if he wanted to take this girl
from Benjy. Artie said he has a very complicated situation with Dana
right now so he can’t do anything with this girl. He said that she’s
great though. He said that she’d be fun to hang out with from what he
can tell. He said that he had to pass this offer up though.

Benjy said that he’d love to go out with this chick this weekend. He
said that he knows that she’s in town for the whole weekend. Robyn told
Howard that she enjoys being half dressed most of the time and she can
get off very easy. Gary asked her if she wanted to masturbate while
Artie talked to her. She just laughed and Howard said that he’s not sure
she wants to do that.

Artie said that he’s never had a woman tell him that she’s masturbated
while thinking about him. He asked Robyn what she does when she’s
thinking about a guy like that. She said that it’s a lot about blow jobs
when she’s thinking about that stuff. She’d probably wake Artie up with
a blow job so she thinks about what that would be like.

Howard said that Benjy has a good opportunity here to take this girl
out. Benjy said that he’s very confident in himself and he’s not that
surprised that this girl is into him. Robyn said that she really likes
his look and doesn’t mind that ”rosatia” look that he has when he gets
all red and blotchy.

Robyn said that she’s been listening to the show since she was 14 and
she has a broad view of life and she’s into all kinds of people. The
guys showed some pictures of Benjy naked to Robyn so she could see what
he looked like. She had no problem with his look at all. Fred threw in a
bunch of elephant sound effects while they were showing those pictures.

Robyn said that she makes in the mid six figure range and she really
needs nothing. She sells her art and can make some very good money doing
that. The guys showed one of her pieces of art and it was a pencil
drawing of a dead owl. She said that her art is about death. Howard said
he wouldn’t want to see that but Artie said he kind of liked it.

Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Robyn could pull out that one
good titty that wasn’t operated on. She said that it might be kind of
awkward. She did lift up her shirt to show her bra. The guys were
impressed with the size and said that they looked bigger than a C-cup.
Benjy said that she’s really beautiful and sexy and she’s got a great
personality. He does want to go out with her. Howard let him say a few
words to her. Benjy said that he’s looking forward to getting to know
her.

Irish John called in and said that he has to marry this girl and get rid
of that ”annoying Ivy Supersonic.” Benjy said that he’s still friends
with her and has no problem with her. Howard took some other calls from
people who had some questions for Benjy and this girl. Benjy was also
wondering what she thought about his views on monogamy and being with
other chicks. She seemed to see his point of view on all of that stuff
and didn’t seem to have a problem with it.

Howard checked out some of her other art and asked her about some of
that. She explained some of the stuff he was looking at and it was
pretty intense stuff. She said that she has a waiting list for her art
and it’s pretty much pre-sold before she even starts. One of her pieces
was listed at $70,000.

Robyn said that she lives in Houston, Texas but she comes to New York a
lot for art shows. A caller asked if they put a muzzle on her seeing eye
dog because he didn’t hear it barking. Another guy said he didn’t think
that a woman talking about a tumor being removed could sound so hot.

Robyn said that she got hit on by this woman one time and she ended up
going to her apartment. She said that she was leaving and the girl
pinned her against the door and made out with her and took her shirt off
and took control. She said that she knew how to play with her boobs the
right way and it was great. She said that she didn’t go down below
though. She figured that maybe she knew that she wasn’t quite ready for
that. She told another story about making out with a really hot girl in
a car one time. She said that she hasn’t done that kind of thing all
that often though.

Howard had Benjy say a few more words to this girl before he let her go.
Benjy said that he’s dated some very pretty women in his life but he
feels lucky that she came to meet him and he’s looking forward to
getting to know her. Howard helped him out and told him to ask her for
her number. He said that he will get the number and he will call her
later today. He said that he loves showing people around New York and
he’d love to show her around the city. Artie said that he’d sign a
picture for her too.
 

 
And last but not least, O’Neil responds on the fan boards herself. Sparkling conversationalists over there, in full Stern mode (O’Neil’s fellow Stern fans give her their two cents directly: "I’d bang you like a screen door." "I’m an artist too, so’s I knows what’s looking nice is, yo." First quote actual; second one is slightly Jersey-fied.) 
 
above photos: from www.howardstern.com
below photos: courtesy Robyn O’Neil
 
I’m informed by the editors that Ms. O’Neil is working on a piece about her Stern experience.
 
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"Last" does not seem to be an operative term for this thread: I played go-between, connecting Robyn and the Boston Globe’s Geoff Edgers, who conducts a really sound interview . Robyn says she will report more on her experience, and reflections upon it, very soon…right here on your very own … Glasstire!
 

also by Titus OBrien

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14 responses to “I…don’t understand. Is this performance art? Now Updated Hourly!”

  1. cute even.

  2. this is just weird. she seems to be joining the legion that includes bridget the midget, and the poor girl who hoped to get breast augmentation by going on stern.

  3. wha?

  4. it was the first time i’ve ever heard a visual artist on the stern show actually talking about art with the crew! she had a great time…that’s what matters, right? oh, and howard did in fact refer to her with her full name during the segment….

  5. reading the whole transcript, it’s really very funny. sounds like she’s a fan, and quite a riot.

  6. here’s an opportunity for all you art-types to get sanctimonious.
    surprised that davenport even gave it the space.
    get over it.
    rock on, robyn!

  7. Leave Britney alone, Titus… you too, Bill… she needs time to heal, and she pulled the shirt-raising pic, and dropped the bisexual under her gender on the boards because you people just want more, more, more.

  8. we’ve been chatting. She’s doing well in rehab, we’re BFF’s, the love is infectious.
    She’s not really in rehab, that’s a joke. She’s actually on her way to a warm country that has beaches, and is leaving this cruel world behind for now.
    Boston Globe called me for her number. It’s out of control. She is confused by it all. I’m sure she will explicate further soon. Watch these pages…and possibly the Globe’s…maybe I should pitch to do her PR…

  9. put down that pencil and pick up a couple of chubbies

  10. people having a good time should be applauded. people having a bad time . . . that’s when we should worry.

  11. Robyn O’Neil’s response on b.s.’s Houston blog:
    “To further this topic: everything an artist drops on their studio floor doesn’t need to be called art. In fact, not even everything made in artist’s studio needs to be called art. I make drawings all the time that get put in the back of my flat file…because those particular drawings FAILED. So, certainly, going on the Stern show isn’t art. It’s going on the Stern Show. A person, who happens to make art, going on the Stern Show. And having an amazing time doing it!”

    I really feel sorry for her, in a way. Still, it seems hard to fathom someone would announce they are an artist, giving financial information to prove they are successful, and then freaking out when everyone starts giggling over it. It seems hard to believe that someone who has gallery hopped up the ladder of success (Whistler, Angstrom, Inman, and then to Dunn and Brown) could be so seemingly careless they feel compelled to cover their tracks, and ask that all photos of the shirt-lifting be replaced with more dignified shots. Still, this can only help your career, and make you a household name. I don’t know her, so I can’t really second guess her, but it seems somehow calculated, and a misstep all at once.

  12. I’m gonna steal that from ya. let me know if you get the rest down on paper.

  13. “It’s my pleasure, kid, it’s my pleasure.”

  14. I can tell from her statement, “everything an artist drops on their studio floor doesn’t need to be called art. In fact, not even everything made in artist’s studio needs to be called art” that I am not really looking forward to hearing her Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa, Mea don’t dig you squares who aren’t the right people, and don’t get it Culpa. Self important purist. Over and out.

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